The Last Invention Read online

  The gem on my ring bathed the room in a warm yellow color. I knew that I should roleplay Ricky and the pig to get answers, but the temptation to be Melanie again was just too strong. I promised myself that I would become a pig the next night. I would take a night off from Melanie and get answers. But for now, total bliss…

  “Roleplay Melanie,” I said.

  At once my soul escaped, becoming a ghostly floating blob just like last time. Below me I saw my body wearing pajamas and lying in bed. The little boy got smaller and smaller, like some weird camera angle in a movie. I passed through the ceiling, traveling faster now, and then whizzed through all the floors of the prison, right through some of the people in their cells. My spirit burst out of the roof and boomeranged into outer space—knocking the Hubble space telescope slightly out of alignment—and then back down toward Earth, North America, Long Island, Melanie’s house. My essence crash-landed inside her body and spread out until it filled every inch of her being. That pain-free, relaxed feeling returned. I had already forgotten it.

  The first thing I noticed was that Melanie was not asleep this time. She was lying in bed under a dim reading lamp looking at a picture of a boy—a brown-haired kid with freckles and brown eyes. Melanie was thinking about him. His name was Colin, and he was fourteen years old, almost fifteen. She was only six months older than him. She tutored Colin in math, but after a few sessions she couldn’t get him out of her mind, especially that perfect singing voice of his. She wondered if it was true love, like in the fairy tales. Just today she had a romantic moment with Colin.

  “Close your eyes,” Colin had said. “I have a surprise.” Melanie closed her eyes, and that’s when Colin began singing a song in a strange language. It was a song that he learned from his choir at school. The melody was gentle and sweet, and she never wanted it to stop. The musical notes seemed to burrow under her skin and travel through her veins, energizing different regions of her body. She had heard about his singing voice before, but now it was clear to her. He had the greatest voice box on the planet.

  Then suddenly his lips sank softly into hers. It was only her second kiss ever, and it had taken her by surprise! She hadn’t realized how soft Colin’s lips would be against hers, how warm. Her mind raced. She put her arms around him, and she could feel Colin’s ribs vibrating around his quickly beating heart. He still seemed to be singing even though his lips were occupied. Breathing softly through their noses, they kissed each other until Colin’s mom called up to him, interrupting their happiness...

  Melanie kept thinking of this memory over and over again while she lay in bed staring at the picture. She caressed her stomach with her other hand, squirming in bed with an uncomfortable longing that grew and grew. Without Colin she couldn’t be happy. She couldn’t even remember what his beautiful singing voice had truly sounded like. Her memory of it was flawed, imperfect. She needed to hear it again, and soon. It was definitely true love.

  I felt sick.

  I wanted to scream, but I had no mouth of my own.

  I wanted out of Melanie’s body so I could find Colin and tear his voice box out.

  For a long time I just floated inside of Melanie, wanting to boil and burst, to cry, to soar back into outer space and plummet into the sun. There was nothing I could do but lay inside of her while she thought about that kid over and over again. That kiss had made her so happy. It was the first joy she had experienced since the Adrian incident. She didn’t want to go back to the lawyer tomorrow—preparing for this stupid trial was horrible and boring. She had been so happy today when they told her it was a day off. Her mom had suggested she go tutor Colin just to be doing something. That’s when the kiss happened. She planned to go back to him tomorrow.

  Melanie was happy. That should have been the most important thing to me, but I couldn’t accept it. She wasn’t happy because of me, and that meant it wasn’t going to be a true happiness. That Colin kid was probably no better than Logan. Maybe some other kid created him using a Body Builder. He was way too perfect-looking to be human—brown eyes, freckles, brown hair, give me a break! But I knew that wasn’t true because Colin had lived in our town for a long time. He was two grades ahead of me and everybody thought he was so cool—the quarterback who also sang in the choir. Still, he probably just wanted Melanie for her body, and had no plans to float with her for all eternity on a tower in space (note to self: bad argument to make while you’re inside Melanie’s body). Still, I knew there was no way he could ever love Melanie as much as me, and that made him an imposter who wouldn’t be good for her. He would eventually abandon her, and her fall would be pure misery. I, on the other hand, will protect her forever.

  I was a god.

  Colin was a monster.

  Something had to be done.

  Melanie put the picture under her pillow, turned off the light, and went to sleep. She was unconscious in only a couple of minutes. That’s when I tested out the new feature of the Roleplaying Ring that came with the yellow level—controlling her body parts while she slept. The first thing I did was try to move her right arm. Perfect. It moved exactly like a normal arm should. Then I tried the left arm. No problem. The instructions were right—I was in complete control of Melanie’s body.

  I came up with a plan to make her fall in love with me. Let me try to explain so you don’t think I’m a complete nut:

  The way I figured it, being in control of her muscles and not her mind still gave me a lot of options. The whole human body is controlled with muscles. I would just use my own mind to control them, just like I did her arms. After thinking about it for a long time, I settled for good old-fashioned moaning. I made her moan “Adrian, I love you” over and over again. It was kind of weird using somebody else’s tongue and lips, but I got used to it pretty quickly. I pulled Colin’s picture out from under the pillow and threw it on the floor. I made her bounce up and down in her bed in a love-frenzy. I moaned, “I love Adrian so much more than Colin. Oh, Adrian, you are my Ganymede. Where’s that big golden chalice of yours. Feed me nectar, you fool.” Meanwhile, I moved Melanie’s hands so that she was caressing her stomach like she did before. The bedspread slipped off her body and fell on the floor.

  I knew there had to be a better way to pick up girls, but this was all I could think of at the time. Melanie’s body grew warmer, and her head began spinning. Success! She was falling in love with me! I made her stop bouncing and moaning. Then Melanie started having a dream about me, and I became certain that my plan had worked. I had injected thoughts into her brain using just muscles. I had foiled the instruction manual and figured out a way to influence her mind, not just experience whatever she was currently thinking.

  She was lying in Adrian’s arms in a sunny meadow full of flowers. Adrian kissed her passionately, and they rolled around in the grass, nearly crushing tiny furry creatures that hopped out of the way. Clouds passed by overhead, the sun went down and rose again, trees grew around them, the seasons changed, and still they kissed. They were going for the longest kiss ever! When it grew cold, their body heat kept them comfortable. The small furry creatures nested under their legs.

  Of course, I normally play Adrian, but since I was roleplaying Melanie I knew what it felt like to be kissed by myself on the lips. It wasn’t really that bad. Adrian’s pretty cute—and that’s without any magical devices helping him out. I thought I’d be more grossed out.

  The endless kiss continued, and when winter came for the tenth time, there was a terrible snowstorm. Adrian never stopped kissing me, not even when giant snowflakes fell and covered us in white fluffy drifts. We became buried under mounds of snow. Finally, we had privacy from the world. The small animals hibernated for the winter. Our body heat melted some of the snow and created a small cave around us. Our fiery passion lit up our little cavern like a torch, casting odd shadows on the wall. And still we kissed, our hearts and whistling nostrils creating a perfect rhythm. Adrian never opened his eyes, never spoke, just loved me with every last ounce of his e
nergy. I had completely forgotten that he was just a boy.

  I was in love.

  Correction—Melanie was in love.

  But suddenly that dream ended, and Melanie started having another dream about talking sheep. I didn’t care. My experiment was a total success, and my spirit was bubbling with excitement. I decided to experiment with Melanie’s body movements some more, to see what sort of extreme things I could do before she woke up. There was a certain body part down below that I vowed to look into more deeply when I had the time. Only a silk nightgown and incredibly soft underwear stood between it and Melanie’s fingers. I convinced myself that it was Melanie, not me, that was going to do the exploring. My body was back in a mental institution—it couldn’t cause any harm from back there. But if I didn’t get to the bottom of that weird, mutant, squirmy, sensitive, non-protruding, curiosity, my body might be in that institution forever, even after being found innocent in the trial. It’s not like I got struck by lightning or anything when I explored my own body back in my cell. Anyway, isn’t there a famous proverb—a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? That thing was calling for me, just like the Singing Sirens—mermaids that sang beautifully in ancient Greek times, causing boats to sail over and be dashed upon the rocks. (note: if that proverb is actually about some recent presidents, forget what I said about the mermaids.)

  My fingers reached the elastic edge of her panties.

  Just then Melanie woke up.

  I lost complete control of her muscles immediately. She sat up and looked around the room, certain that somebody was there. Her arms and legs began shivering. I sat helplessly inside her body, waiting for what she would do next. I tried not to think, afraid that she would discover me inside of her and tear me out with sharp nails. Meanwhile, her beating heart made my soul vibrate; the adrenaline rush in her chest made me queasy. I wanted to scream, to admit it was me in here, to wave the white flag. But I couldn’t do anything now that she was awake. She moved her arm away from her underwear. I waited for her to remember the dream about Adrian, the warm love they experienced in that sunny meadow and wintry cavern.

  She thought about the talking sheep and laughed.

  My spirit went into a free fall and landed back in her glorious pinky toe.

  Suddenly, my ghostly form soared out of Melanie’s body, launched into outer space, knocked the Hubble space telescope back into alignment, and then plummeted down toward the mental institution. I slammed back into my old body with the force of an anvil falling on a cartoon character. The ring now glowed orange on my finger. Even though that journey ended badly, my smile grew back when I realized that my second mission was a success. I had made Melanie think about me. She would eventually remember our perfect kiss. That Colin kid would be a distant memory. And even if he wasn’t, I could just keep doing this plan until it finally stuck.

  Plus, I had gone up another level! I grabbed the instructions and read them:

  Level orange unlocked: At this level you will now be able to control how long your roleplaying sessions will last. When you want to return to your body, simply think the phrase, “There’s no place like my body, there’s no place like my body, there’s no place like my body.” Be sure to think the phrase exactly three times or it will not return you to your original form.

  I just came back from the tenth day of my murder trial. The crowds jeered me on the way into the courthouse. They threw tomatoes at me. I cried as the guards dragged me by both hands to the front door. I testified in court about what happened on the day I killed Logan. My lawyer had made up a whole story for me to say, but I cracked under oath. I told the truth! The dialogue went something like this:

  My lawyer: Adrian, tell us why you killed Logan.

  Me: A green pig gave me a technologically advanced toy called The Body Builder. It lets you make creatures by programming all their parts. I created Logan by programming all of his features. But I accidentally made him love Melanie too much. So he went after her that night, and he was going to do something horrible to her. I had to kill him to save Melanie.

  My lawyer (frustrated): So you killed him to protect her? Are you quite sure there was a toy involved? Couldn’t you just have been protecting a friend from a homeless, ill-mannered teenager?

  Me: It was a toy, only it doesn’t work anymore. It’s under my bed. I may be able to reset it with a paper clip, I’m not sure.

  Later that day my lawyer quit.

  Now it doesn’t matter that the prosecution lost the murder weapon. I’m going to be convicted. What chance do I have?

  Melanie nodded at me with a sad face from across the courtroom. She knows the truth—I’m sure of that now. She looks worse than ever. Her frizzy hair is all knotted. I don’t sneeze anymore when I make eye contact with her. Her perfect smell has vanished. It doesn’t matter. I actually find her more beautiful now. My love for her will exist long after our sun and a thousand of its nearest neighbors explode in nuclear fury. If the ancient Greek gods come back to life and tell me they need their Aphrodite back, that we have to abandon our tower in space, I’ll fight every last one of them until their bloody corpses litter the beaches of Poseidon’s Sea.

  Now, I better explain why her brightness has faded. It has to do with the unlocked levels of the Roleplaying Ring. The higher levels turned out to be a nightmare…

  It was the night after the ring turned orange. I jumped into bed and hid under the covers, ready to take another journey with my Roleplaying Ring. I kept my promise to myself that I would roleplay somebody other than Melanie. Since there were no time limits at level orange, I could easily take a short trip into the green pig’s body, and then come back and roleplay Melanie for the rest of the night. All I had to do was remember the magical return phrase, and I could go back and forth between bodies as much as I wanted. I practiced it over and over again before the journey.

  I pulled the covers up to my chin and said, “Oinkleberry.” My spirit took its usual journey into outer space and soared back down toward the planet, but this time something different happened. I sped toward a huge, transparent bubble that sat next to the cemetery near my house. The bubble surrounded a housing development bathed in moonlight, but when I passed through the bubble’s surface I came out in the bright green meadow with that swirling black cave, the caretaker’s cottage, the ponds, gazebos, and the glowing green sun. Ricky was rocking back and forth in his chair while the pig created one of those giant smelly mounds. My soul soared down toward the pig’s body, but instead of oozing inside and filling its body, I bounced back up like a superball and returned to outer space, where I quickly plunged back toward the planet and landed inside my own body.

  “Restricted target body,” the Roleplaying Ring said. “Entry forbidden. You may not roleplay the green pig.”

  I tried roleplaying Ricky’s body, but the same thing happened.

  Oh well, you’re a witness that I tried. Back to roleplaying Melanie. Anyway, I needed to find out if she remembered that dream she had about me. That perfect kiss.

  “Roleplay Melanie,” I said.

  My spirit soared into space, bounced off the moon like an out-of-control pinball, sped back to Earth, circled the planet three times, and then smashed into Melanie’s body. She was lying in bed under her reading lamp, looking at that same picture of Colin. There were now lipstick smears all over it.

  My plan to make her fall in love with me had completely failed! All Melanie ever thought about was Colin, Colin, Colin—I wasn’t even a speck in the back her mind. Her skin felt tingly. She was lightheaded and dizzy. She rubbed her stomach; it felt deserted, a big gaping pit of loneliness, as if she needed to be near Colin to feel whole again.

  I dove into her stomach and swam around in there, trying to make her feel better. She began muttering, softly, for Colin to begin singing to her again. All she wanted was to be near his warm body, to feel his soft lips, to hear that singing voice again. His second song was so beautiful that it could have made angels cry.

  I wa
nted to scream.

  I tried to sing to her, but I didn’t have a voice box. Anyway, my voice would give her worse nightmares. So I just lay inside her stomach and curled up in the corner near a piece of charred skin from the chicken she had for dinner.

  Nothing I did could stop Melanie from obsessing about what happened that day when she was over there tutoring him:

  “I wrote a new song for you,” Colin said, kneeling in front of her. “It’s in Latin, but it’s about how your bright hair could fuel the world and stop global warming.”

  Colin began singing. He looked at Melanie with puppy-dog eyes. He sneezed once, but kept singing. The melody flowed into her ears and swirled around like a whirlpool, draining down through her head, her neck, her chest, and into her lower regions. The musical notes touched her places on the inside, places that no boy had ever, or could ever, make contact with. She became weak and lay down on the couch.

  Moments later, Colin sank his lips into hers. The naughty musical notes swarmed together and spiraled back up to her lips, creating a sensory overload that caused her heart to stop beating. Time stopped, but the kiss continued. And still Colin sang, releasing more musical notes that joined the others and crowded around her internal organs like alien parasites. Colin began caressing her legs. He slowly moved his hand up toward her mini-skirt.

  Suddenly, Colin’s mom called up from the kitchen, and Melanie fell out of her trance. Her heart started beating again and pumped blood to her whole body at once. She sat up and gave Colin a hug. Colin looked frustrated.

  “I love you,” Melanie said.

  “I love you,” Colin said, squeezing her tightly.

  “Can you record your songs for me?” Melanie asked. “I want both those songs you sang for me.”